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A comprehensive list of everything I'll be doing once we are free to roam

So. One thing I noticed about being in lockdown is that not actually much has changed. I’ve just been acting the same way I normally do when I’m unemployed. Sit, stare, ponder and over eat, being terrified of supermarkets and not sleeping very well. If that isn’t a scathing indictment on how I live my life in general then I don’t know what else will be.


I decided to write a list of things I’m *quite* excited to do once I have the ability to, but as mentioned above, I’m not really what you call a ‘go-getter’ so this list may disappear into the ether and I will forget all about it and carry on as normal, whatever that means.


  1. Go to Nandos. I miss it and I am really considering standing on a mountain-side with a big shawl and staring into the horizon, mourning this great loss. (I know I can make my own at home- but sitting in your pyjamas listening to portageuese background music is a bit tragic even by my standards.)

  2. Get bladdered in a pub garden with loved ones and continue this until the sun sets and we amble to the kebab shop for cheesy chips and a laughing fit. As God intended.

  3. Go to a Pret a Manger and eat a goddamn croissant and overpay for a latte.

  4. Perfect the making of cheese scones.

  5. Get on a bus and ride it from end to end and make a charming short story about aliens learning about English Public Transport.

  6. Create a dance routine to a Madonna song- Badly.

  7. Get my hair cut by a professional, cry about it for three hours after.

  8. Buy a fancy magazine (Grazia? Good Housekeeping?!?) and sit in a park with a meal deal from Boots.

  9. Consider going to hot yoga, but throw up at the prices and just turn the central heating on and do a three-legged pigeon pose by the radiator that works the best.

  10. Dress up fancy and walk around John Lewis like I belong there and have the money to buy that Le Creuset pot - I don’t, and probably never will.




That all sounds really exciting doesn’t it? I can guarantee I will do approximately 2 of those things. And you best believe it’s overpaying for a latte, because that is apparently my most favoured hobby.


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